Kevin Zhou

Pre-Company
Kevin Zhou was born on the 6th of September 1969, in Pyongyang, North Korea. He is the biological father of Kim Jong Un, while the biological mother is Kim Kardashian. He was born into a rich family, where both parents (Adolf Hitler, Charlie Feehan) were drug dealers. As his parents were never home, he became violent and greedy, so he killed both parents in order to inherit their wealth. He escaped to China, where he started gambling away all the money. In the year 1982, he had gambled away all the money. Too pay back the debt, he decided to have a baby with a prostitute and use the child support money to pay back his debt. In 1983, Kim Jong Un was born.

Post Company
Using the child support, he payed back the debt, and started his own business, namely Kevin Zhou & Associates. As he is a follower of the Illuminati, he used his wisdom to enlighten others, in the form of quotes. He sold the quotes in fortune cookies, made from whale semen. These proved to be extremely popular, as whale semen gave the cookies a unique aroma, and the quotes spread the message of the Illuminati. Using his new found wealth, he established a headquarters in North Korea, where he began to mass produce his cookies, but as time went on, the cookies declined in popularity, and all the quotes had been used. Thus, he searched for a new business venture. One night, while in bed, he was unhappy about his feet size, so he came up with the codpiece. The codpiece made the users genitals seem huge, and was instantly popular with the male market. Unhappy with the Nokia he was using to take d!ck pics, he invented the iPhone. The iPhone was revolutionary in the way that it was so bad, but people still bought it. Selling out within the first day, Zhou started making even crappier phones and selling them at higher prices. Kevin Zhou is the first Asian sextillionaire (100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000).